When kids come into your life, your personal feelings, desires, and preferences slowly move to the background. And if you add this to the deadlines at work, never-ending chores, lack of sleep, and other problems to solve, you get a very stressed-out adult.
Family life is a complicated matter that needs a special approach and a lot of work. Most people stress out over small things. This eventually leads to a nervous atmosphere at home.
While serious problems might require professional assistance, most matters can easily be solved by the family members. Let’s take a look at a few tips that helped other parents stress a little less.
“I’ll Think About It Tomorrow”
Scarlet O’Hara definitely had a point. If you are a perfectionist, you are going to have a hard time staying sane in a family with kids.
Don’t try to do everything at once. Dirty floors can wait. You can order a pizza for dinner instead of cooking. You are not an omnipotent being. Don’t try to be one. Use the time you would spend on making your home look perfect on your children and partner.
Everyone Gets 20 Minutes
Busy parents usually find themselves running around all day long until it’s time for the kids to go to bed. Meanwhile, kids are bugging them for attention. As a result, less stuff gets done while the parent stresses more and more.
Give each one of your kids at least 20 minutes. Tell them that it’s their own personal time, which you’ll dedicate solely to their needs. You’d be surprised how many more things you’d get done after the time is over.
Set Up A Routine
Both adults and children often become slaves to a routine. Use it to your advantage. Everyone goes to sleep and wakes up at the same time. Everyone washes their hands before dinner.
Everyone checks their school bags before going to bed. Older kids help younger kids do homework before watching TV. A routine, or better yet, call it a schedule, helps you get things done without stressing out.
Talk To Your Partner
Most of the stress people experience in their lives comes from their relationships. Even if you’ve been married for years and think that you understand each other, you still need some quality time together. You need to remember what makes you compatible.
Usually, such time happens when children go to sleep. Make sure you dedicate at least 30 minutes of “alone” time for your partner. You don’t have to talk about anything important. In fact, you don’t have to talk at all. Just spend time together or watch TV.
Take A Vacation Together
The best way to take the stress out of your family life is to take a fulfilling vacation together. Vacations are the time you can spend the whole day with your kids and partner without being distracted by chores.
Try to take at least a 10-day vacation. One week is usually not enough to relax. Consider going to an all-inclusive resort, where you don’t have to worry about food and entertainment. Just make sure it’s a family-friendly resort, not adults-only. You’ll find that when the vacation is over, you’ll feel closer to your family.
Don’t Endure
If you don’t like something that’s going on in your life, don’t endure it. Whether it’s related to your family or anything else. Adults always have an opportunity to change their lives.
Enduring and tolerating often leads to frustration. As a result, even the smallest things look like huge problems. Try to endure less and act more.
Learn To Breathe
Stressful situations are bound to happen no matter how hard you try to avoid them. Proper breathing can help you deal with them on the spot.
The most important thing to do in a stressful situation is to set your mind straight. The right breathing techniques can do just that. Take a slow, deep breath while counting to four. Then start exhaling and don’t stop until you finish counting to 4.
This technique allows you to pace your breathing. When the breathing is deep and slow, the brain gets more oxygen.
Spend Some Time Alone
Even the most sociable people need some time alone. Allow yourself to have at least 15 minutes a day of “alone” time. Do whatever you like to do the most during that time. Depending on your schedule, you can make the time longer.
The most important part of this point is never to skip this time. No matter what happens, even if the new Armageddon is coming, you can always find 15 minutes for some time alone.
Avoid Emotional “Vampires”
People, who come into your life, are often not what you hoped for. Don’t keep spending time with them if you don’t like them. If you feel wasted after talking to a person, it means you met an emotional “vampire”, who sucks the energy out of you.
Such people have a way of making you feel bad in order to feel better themselves. They might not be doing it consciously but it doesn’t mean you have to keep socializing with them.
Wasting precious moments of your life with people you don’t like makes it shorter. Spend more time with your family instead.